Testimonials

Geneva Montbrillant ACoA Group

“I found the group at a time when I had hit ‘rock bottom’. I remember how the first day as I was listening to the common traits of the adult child for the first time, I could not stop the tears welling up. They were tears of relief: I suddenly felt understood and safe. Coming to the group, sharing and listening to the shares of other adult children gave me the strength to re-evaluate my past and present and to pull myself out of the situation I was in at the time.”

“My role in my family has been the scapegoat, but now I feel like I am the family conscience, or memory. It feels like everyone else has chosen to forget, in order to move on. But I know that I have to remember, to be able to move on. And that’s just one reason why this group is important to me. It’s not a pity party, it’s one of the few places in my life where I can share my truth and my real life experiences with those who’ve experienced similar things first-hand and so won’t judge me, and won’t pity me. I can be the authentic me and I don’t need to censor myself. When I censor, when I try to forget, there is a vacuum, a hole. And dark things fill that hole: unconscious behaviors. Remembering helps me to keep it all in the light, and when it’s in the light, I can see the next steps I need to take to stay on steady ground, rather then getting tripped up by old behaviors and patterns.”

“I love this group because of the strictly enforced rule of not interrupting, giving advice, or trying to fix each other. I can show up as I am and no one is going to try to make me be anything else. My therapist calls this a ‘corrective experience’. Because we grew up in families with the rule ‘don’t talk, don’t feel, don’t trust’, my ‘ACoA siblings’ and I are now helping each other heal by doing exactly what we were never allowed to do. This is one of the gifts of being an ACoA, because nowhere else in my life am I allowed to fully feel everything I am feeling. It’s an incredibly rich experience.”